Triangle
by contentment is beautiful
Summary: Erica's there. Callie's there. Arizona's there. One-shot.


__**Just a short one shot.**

* * *

_Buzz_

There were rules against this sort of thing.

_Buzz._

She knew better. She absolutely knew better than this. They both did. They all did.

_Buzz...buzz._

"Callie...who's still texting you?"

And what does she say to that? Not the truth. Not a lie. Is there a 'neither' option? Is there a shade of grey that wouldn't churn her stomach in knots? Is there a way her palms wouldn't sweat, her heart wouldn't drop into her stomach, her forehead wouldn't break out in the tiniest beads of perspiration at that question?

No.

No, there isn't.

She and Erica were just friends now. That's what she had cemented into the other woman's mind the other day. It didn't mean they weren't free to date other people...but it didn't mean this was ok, either.

Because what kind of person did this make her?

It was an accident. She had been telling herself that for days now. Mark had been reiterating it, helping her realize that this was both equally as potentially good as it was bad for her.

_Buzz._

When Erica got up to get another beer from the fridge Callie snatched her phone up from it's spot face down on the arm rest. Her fingers fumbled over the unlock screen, showing her what she already knew.

_Arizona: I can't stop thinking about you_

_Arizona: Calliope, you're beautiful_

_Arizona: Are you upset with me?_

_Arizona: Have I done something?_

_Arizona: I keep picturing your smile during work and...it's distracting, to say the least._

Callie's eyes fluttered shut as her heart rate increased. Bad person. Bad heart. Bad feelings. It was all just so...bad. At least, that's what her gut told her. When she heard the blonde behind her shuffling, she shoved the phone down next to her and into the soft couch cushion, the small space between the arm and the pillow squishing it and hiding it from view.

"Here you go," said the cardio surgeon with a faint smirk on her face. Callie gave a weak smile in return. She couldn't look her in the eyes. It wasn't cheating. It wasn't. They weren't together anymore. They hadn't been for a while. It absolutely was not cheating.

But fuck, did it have to be _her_?

"How are things with Jennifer?" Callie asked hopefully, knowing that maybe the mention of the girl she suspected Erica to be into would make her feel less guilty. Erica eyed Callie suspiciously, scoffing at the name her companion dropped so casually. She figured there should be pain in Callie's eyes, but there wasn't a single spark of sadness. Not even a hint.

"They're fine, Cal. She's just a friend, I keep telling you that. You're not...jealous, are you?" Erica asked, a slightly hopeful lilt nearing the end of the question. Callie shook her head adamantly, eyebrows knit together as she took a swig from her deep green beer bottle, the sweat of it making her fingers slippery.

"No! Not at all. Erica come on, you should know that by now. I swear I'm not jealous."

Erica sighed, her eyes roving over the apartment she used to feel so at home in.

"Sort of wish you were..." she mumbled into the lip of her beer before gulping half the bottle down in one go. Callie pretended not to hear her, shifting uncomfortably as she felt her phone buzz yet again next to her. Erica's eyes narrowed suspiciously near the Latina's hip, her puzzlement evident on her features.

"Who's texting you so much? It's really late."

Callie's pupils dilated. Her breathing increased. Her jaw locked, then loosened, then tightened again.

_What kind of person does this, Callie? What kind of person falls for...just play it cool._

She cleared her throat and nonchalantly shrugged, nearly chipping her tooth as she threw the bottle back up to her lips, hoping the glass would swallow up her words.

"Arizona and I keep having this long going joke back and forth on when Addison and Mark are finally going to get their heads out of their asses and screw in an on call room, so she's giving me updates."

Erica nodded solemnly, picking away at the now damp paper label of her Dos Equis bottle. Callie pretended she didn't notice. Callie did a lot of pretending these days.

"I really um..." Erica began, rolling her eyes in a self deprecating gesture as a long sigh escaped her lips, "I really thought you two hated each other. Now you're so...chummy."

_Breathe, Callie. Nonchalant. Nothing. It's nothing._

"Yeah well I mean, you can't hold a grudge forever. Besides, you know I always said that if circumstances were different, I figured she and I would be good friends. I guess I was right."

_Buzz_

Erica swallowed the lump in her throat she knew had been forming for days now. She was a bit lost. Looking at Callie now, she wondered what was going to happen to the two of them.

"She's a fun girl, for sure. Maybe the three of us can-"

_Buzz_

Callie rolled her eyes, subtly stuffing the phone further between the cushions. Fucking Arizona. She knew where she was right now. She knew.

Erica eyed the strange lump that was forming in the couch. She noticed all the space Callie had put between the two of them. All the space she'd been quietly putting there for the past few weeks.

"You know what? I'm actually just going...I'm just going to go, Callie."

"What?" Callie asked, concerned she'd hurt her friend's feelings as the blonde stood up, making her way towards the door. Callie sat her beer on the kitchen island as they both made their way for the blue door at the front of her apartment.

"Hey, Erica, come on. We were supposed to watch Once Upon a Time. It comes on in..." she checked her phone, doing her best not to let her eyes roll into the back of her head at the types of messages she saw Arizona was sending her now. She cleared her throat nervously, coughing a bit as the temperature in the room seemed to rise.

"Never seen you get that sort of reaction from a clock before." Erica muttered accusingly. Callie froze, unable to look up. Because what do you do? **What** do you do?

"I should have known, you know? I should have known. The way you two have been speaking to one another so much. I thought maybe I was imagining things. I thought that-"

"Erica, please," Callie cut her off, her heart breaking for the woman the had grown to be a friend after everything. "Don't do this."

Erica shook her head, sniffling as her eyes began to water. A mirthless laugh escaped her lips as she raised her eyes to the light fixture she had helped the woman standing across from her set up only a month ago. Things were so different back then...

"Honestly, it's my own fault. Where was I? I was everywhere you weren't. I was in the spaces and the cracks in my own heart, hiding from you, instead of helping you navigate your way through it. I was busy building more and more walls up around me while you were fighting to tear them down. I was chicken shit. I was taking advantage of you. I didn't know what I had until it was too late."

Callie stood silently, her eyes glued to the floor as she listened with bated breath. It was true...but that didn't make her feel less guilty. Erica shook her head angrily, slamming her beer on the kitchen table as a slight sob escaped from her mouth. It cut Callie like a jagged edged shard of glass, but she couldn't find it in her to comfort her...because how many times did she ask for the same in return, and get nothing but cold sheets and no call?

"Fuck, Callie. Why my best friend? Why her?"

"Erica, it's not like-"

"What?" Erica whirled around on her, making Callie suddenly falter in her statement. She swallowed it back, knowing how feeble she appeared.

"It's not like 'that'?" Erica whispered sadly.

"So when she texts you and you have that smile on your face...it's because you're friends? When she's in nearly all of your stories about your day, even if the two of you only spoke for about ten minutes at work, it's because she's your friend? And when..." she lowered her voice, giving up for a moment, stalling and dragging out her thoughts. Callie clenched her fists at her sides as she waited for the rest.

"And when it's late at night and you're getting all of these texts...it's because just friends text each other past midnight, right? Two attractive single women who both enjoy the company of other attractive single women text non-stop like the two of you do, right?"

Callie was going to interrupt and claim that, yes, that did actually happen quite frequently and that lesbians and bisexuals could be just friends, but she knew her retort would fall on deaf ears. And in this case, Erica's accusations were right.

"Callie if I scroll through those texts, would I be ok?"

_No._

Callie stood silently, her mouth opening and closing, unsure of how exactly to say it. She didn't want to say it. Saying it made it real. Saying it meant she was an awful human being. Saying it meant everything.

Erica nodded sadly, throwing her purse over her shoulder. She grabbed the door handle and unlocked it, opening it and letting the slow creaking sound fill up the empty air around them. She looked over her shoulder, noticing Callie's rigid stance. The way she was picking at her thumb nail how she always did when she thought she was in trouble, or nervous. Her eyes fell sadly to the woman's feet, the sound of another buzz rumbling against the counter being the final straw.

"It makes sense, you know? You're both great girls. Just...do me a favor and don't let me see it."

The door shut quietly as Erica made her way down the hallway in silence. Callie stood at the kitchen table, not moving. Hardly breathing. Not knowing what her next move was. Another buzz reawakened her. She numbly reached out a tired limb, scrounging around for the front of the screen as she unlocked her phone, reading the few messages she got.

_Arizona: I miss you_

_Arizona: There's a woman that just walked by. I think she has the same perfume as you. Or maybe shampoo? I'm not sure, but it reminded me that I haven't seen you in a few hours._

_Arizona: Callie? You asleep?...Goodnight?_

The feeling in her gut grew. She was empty. No matter which way she moved, someone got hurt. No matter what she did, someone was expecting something out of her.

Crossing the hall, she banged on the one door she knew she would be willing to throw herself through at the moment. A groggy Mark opened it, rubbing his face free from sleep as he stretched in the door way, standing to the side wordlessly to allow his best friend entrance.

Callie flopped down dramatically on his couch, sprawled out on her back as she slapped her hand over her eyes, shielding herself from the world. She just lied there groaning, praying that eventually all of the bad would escape with it. Mark sat in his chair, his black sweat pants keeping him warm in contrast to his torso being exposed.

"Arizona or Erica?"

An exceedingly louder groan tumbled out of the Latina's lips to which Mark just nodded, taking that as he wasn't going to get the answer until she was ready to stop making random grunts. A few minutes passed until Callie sat up sharply, swiveling herself around and staring at her best friend.

"I didn't ask for this." she stated. Mark nodded his head, rocking slightly in his chair to keep himself awake.

"Yeah, I got that. You're in a shitty situation. On one side, there's our friend Erica you've been dating for a while-"

"We broke up-"

"Would you just let me finish?" Mark asked. Callie sheepishly shut herself up, tucking her arms into herself and curling up against the couch, waiting for her friend to continue.

"Anyway," he said, "you've got Erica. But let's be honest, Callie. She wasn't giving you what you needed."

"Mark that's so harsh though-"

"But is it not true?" he asked her. Callie shrugged, cuddling further into herself. She didn't like saying it out loud. She just didn't. Statements turned into cement the moment they left the mouth.

"And then you met Arizona."

Callie smiled at the name. She couldn't help it. She had been trying so hard to help it. Her smile faded as soon as the memory of what just happened to her replayed itself in her mind.

"Why her, Mark? Why her?"

Mark shrugged and crossed his arms over his bare chest. "I don't know, Cal," he said. "You tell me."

Callie grabbed a pillow that had somehow wound up on the floor and cuddled it close to her chest, resting her head on top of it. She thought about his question. He smirked from across from her.

"I can hear your gears shifting. Don't think about it. Just say it. Why Arizona?"

Callie sighed, tossing her head back and throwing her arms over her face in surrender. She smiled slightly as she let her mind fill with thoughts of the blonde pediatric surgeon.

"Because..." she started, wetting her lips as the draft from the air conditioner above her hit them, "Sometimes I just stare at her. Sometimes I can't help myself. She's so beautiful. Her reactions to everything are priceless. Her sense of humor is wonderful. She fries my brain half the time, and the other half she's busy turning it to mush. When I catch her looking at me, all sense of time and logic leaves my body. Every day for the past week and a half I've woken up praying that I would have the strength to ignore her. Hoping with all hopes that maybe she's going to find someone else to occupy her time, and then immediately realizing how enraged I would be if that happened. I mean...she cries over TV shows! The woman is grown and she...and then she can't pronounce certain words correctly even though she insists she's saying it right. She asks me how my day is going. Her hair frames her face. Her eyes are so blue. She laughs at everything I say because she's nervous. I laugh at her laugh. I smile...anytime she's even mentioned. Her words float through my senses all day. I'm always wondering when the next time I'll see her will be...why **not** Arizona?"

Mark smiled at his friend, his sleepiness being more and more apparent in the corners of his eyes. He gave a big yawn and stood up, patting Callie on the shoulder before leaning in to kiss her forehead.

"So go tell her that, Cal. Goodnight."

* * *

"Callie, is everything ok? Mark and Addison were totally off in some on call room earlier. Yeah I had this great surgery, totally ace, and-oomf!"

Callie cut Arizona off immediately by pressing her up against the back of the door she had just walked into. She had texted her about 30 minutes prior to meet her at her apartment. She insisted that everything was fine, that she and Erica had just had a bit of an argument, and that she simply had to see her.

Callie's forehead rested against Arizona's as she closed her eyes, timidly tracing the blonde's figure beneath her fingertips. Arizona's breathing increased as her eyes drooped to Callie's parted, full lips.

"I thought there were rules against this sort of thing?" she whispered. Callie sighed, pressing her lower body against the blonde's completely. Arizona gave a sharp intake of breath as her eyes rolled into the back of her head. Callie hesitantly pressed her lips to the nape of the other woman's neck. Arizona's chest rose and fell rapidly as her hands rested against the flare of Callie's hips.

"Don't start what you can't finish, Calliope." she said. Callie froze, still conflicted. She slowly sunk into the other woman's embrace, wrapping her arms around her and holding her close to her. Arizona smoothed down her hair, whispering sweet nothings in her ear as she felt the moisture leak from Callie's eyes onto the white plane of her neck.

"Arizona, I just...I hate hurting people." she whispered. She meant for it to be a simple confession, but for some reason as the words stumbled from her lips, they hit so close to home that she began to sob openly against the blonde. Arizona moved them slowly to Callie's room, tucking her in first on one side before stripping down to her underwear and sliding in on the other. Callie nuzzled innocently into the other woman, letting her calming scent and the soothing sound of her voice wrap her up as she drifted in and out of consciousness.

"Arizona?" she whispered while the blonde was mumbling something about bush turkeys. Arizona's gaze found the brunette's in the dark, barely making out her tired, inquisitive eyes.

"Yes, love?"

A rivulet of a tear strung it's way down the side of Callie's cheek as she looked up at the beautiful woman who was occupying her bed. She couldn't shake the fact that not even a month ago, her very own best friend was sitting in the same position. Her heart couldn't let go of that.

"Does this make me a bad person?" she asked, her voice cracking in the middle of her question. Arizona's heart broke as she took Callie in closer, kissing the top of her head as she wrapped her arms around her.

"We'll be friends for now, Calliope. Give everyone some time to cool off. Make sure we know what we want. It'll be fine. We'll get through this."

The two of them softly sunk into one another's forms as they came closer and closer to the edge of sleep. Just before Arizona was about to call it a night, she heard a faint voice from underneath her chin.

"I don't want anyone but you."


End file.
